Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
