my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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