How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
