i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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