thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
