After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
