mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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