i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
