Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
