Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
