Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
