oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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