the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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