oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
