he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Sorry about my life...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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