I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
