My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
