he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
