i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
