You're so nebulous sometimes
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
