tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
