I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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