I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
