then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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