I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
