would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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