That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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