sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
