And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
