it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
