Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
