I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
