Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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