How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
