so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
