The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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