i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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