god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
