why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
