Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
