eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
