i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
