did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
third nipple confirmed
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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