Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
