I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
