i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
