I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
