ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
