id be glad to
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
