sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
