then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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