I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
