She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
PANTIES FOUND
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